How a personal crisis led me to shamanism

In February 2022, I felt the end of the life I knew.

With my family having both Russian and Ukrainian roots, the outbreak of war between these two nations hit me incredibly hard.

I had a major identity crisis: Who was I? Where did I truly belong? Born in Georgia, raised in Russia, and now living my adult life in Germany – even thinking in German – the idea of "home" became confusing and painful. My sense of identity crumbled.

Adding to the confusion was a murky family past. My parents knew little about our ancestors, and what they did know was kept secret. I knew my grandparents hadn't supported the Soviet regime and had changed their last names several times to avoid trouble. Even my own last name felt like a question mark. It felt like I was falling into a deep, dark hole, with a lid put on top, blocking out all the light.

I wasn’t new to taking care of my well-being. I had my routines – acupuncture, chiropractic adjustments, behavioural therapy and so on – things that usually helped me stay balanced. But this time, facing this deep identity crisis, nothing worked. I felt helpless, overwhelmed, and constantly on edge, like my whole system was out of whack.

Then, almost by accident, someone recommended a shaman. Not knowing what else to do, I booked a session.

My First Encounter with Shamanic Healing

Walking into that first session, I was a bundle of nerves and confusion. But the moment I met the shaman, her calm energy began to wash over me, offering an immediate sense of relief. During the session, she worked gently, using healing stones and her hands. It felt like she was pouring calming, balancing energy back into me.

When the session ended, the change was remarkable. I felt lighter, calmer, and more at peace than I had in a very long time. The constant feeling of alarm had subsided.

Now, I’m usually the type of person who needs to understand how things work. I look for explanations, scientific proof, logical reasons. But in this case, there was no clear "how" or "why." There was only the undeniable feeling that something had profoundly helped me, even though I couldn't explain it.

The shaman mentioned she was starting a course the following week, based on the teachings of Alberto Villoldo's Four Winds Society, which explores shamanic traditions from the Andes and Amazon. Intrigued, and knowing that this was the only thing that had touched the depth of my distress, I decided to join. I was curious to learn more about this path that had offered me such unexpected comfort.

So, What Exactly Is Shamanism?

My personal experience made me want to understand more. Shamanism isn't a religion with strict rules, but rather an ancient spiritual practice found in many different cultures across the globe.

Think of shamans as people who learn to connect with a deeper, often unseen, reality – sometimes called the spirit world. They can enter special states of awareness, often using tools like rhythmic drumming or chanting. In these states, they seek healing, wisdom, and guidance, both for themselves and for others.

A core belief in shamanism is that everything in the universe – people, animals, plants, rocks, rivers – is alive, connected, and filled with energy. It’s like seeing the world as a vast web of life where everything influences everything else.

Shamanic traditions have existed for thousands of years and can be found everywhere: across Africa, the Americas (North and South), Indonesia, Korea, Japan, and many other regions.

Even European folklore and traditional healing practices often contain elements that echo shamanic principles, like a deep connection to nature and the use of rituals. The Saami people of Northern Scandinavia still have their own distinct and ancient shamanic traditions nowadays.

Today, many people in the West are rediscovering shamanism. This renewed interest is often part of a larger search for alternative spiritual paths, personal growth, and a stronger connection with the natural world.

Modern practices often involve things like:

• Shamanic Journeying: Using drumming or rattling to enter an altered state to seek guidance.

• Soul Retrieval: A healing practice aimed at bringing back parts of one's energy or soul said to be lost through trauma.

• Power Animal Retrieval: Connecting with spirit guides in animal form.

• Energy Healing: Various techniques focused on balancing the body's energy.

  
  

People like anthropologist Michael Harner, who developed "core shamanism" (focusing on the common elements of shamanism worldwide), and Alberto Villoldo, whose Four Winds Society made Andean and Amazonian wisdom accessible, have been key in bringing these practices to a modern audience.

Ancient Wisdom and Modern Science: An Unexpected Link?

What's fascinating is surprising parallels between the ancient worldview of shamanism and the cutting-edge discoveries of quantum physics.

While one comes from spiritual experience and the other from science labs, they seem to touch on similar ideas about reality:

• Everything is Connected: Shamans talk about the "web of life." Quantum physics has discovered "entanglement," where tiny particles can be linked instantly, no matter how far apart they are. Both suggest a universe that is deeply interconnected.

• Observation Matters: Shamans believe that focused intention, especially in their altered states, can influence reality. Quantum physics found the "observer effect" – the very act of measuring or watching something changes the outcome at the quantum level. Both hint that our consciousness might play a role in shaping the world.

• Energy is Fundamental: Shamans work directly with life force energy for healing. Quantum physics tells us that energy is the basic building block of everything. Even solid matter is ultimately a form of condensed energy. Both see reality as fundamentally energetic.

• Beyond Simple Space and Time: Shamans often describe experiences of traveling outside of ordinary time and space during their journeys. Quantum physics shows connections (like entanglement) that seem to defy our usual understanding of distance and time. Both suggest reality might be much stranger and more complex than it appears.

  
  

My Journey Continues

My path into shamanism started unexpectedly, born from a place of deep pain and confusion. It offered me comfort and a sense of grounding when I felt utterly lost. While my analytical mind still loves to understand things, I've learned the immense value of direct experience and trusting the feeling of what truly helps.

I don’t have all the answers, and perhaps I never will. But finding this path has brought me unexpected healing and enriched my understanding of myself and the universe. I've learned a lot and will share my learnings from the shamanic journey in the next article.

With my family having both Russian and Ukrainian roots, the outbreak of war between these two nations hit me incredibly hard. I had a major identity crisis: Who was I? Where did I truly belong? Born in Georgia, raised in Russia, and now living my adult life in Germany – even thinking in German – the idea of "home" became confusing and painful. My sense of identity crumbled. Adding to the confusion was a murky family past. My parents knew little about our ancestors, and what they did know was kept secret. I knew my grandparents hadn't supported the Soviet regime and had changed their last names several times to avoid trouble. Even my own last name felt like a question mark. It felt like I was falling into a deep, dark hole, with a lid put on top, blocking out all the light. I wasn’t new to taking care of my well-being. I had my routines – acupuncture, chiropractic adjustments, behavioural therapy and so on – things that usually helped me stay balanced. But this time, facing this deep identity crisis, nothing worked. I felt helpless, overwhelmed, and constantly on edge, like my whole system was out of whack. Then, almost by accident, someone recommended a shaman. Not knowing what else to do, I booked a session.

My First Encounter with Shamanic Healing

Walking into that first session, I was a bundle of nerves and confusion. But the moment I met the shaman, her calm energy began to wash over me, offering an immediate sense of relief. During the session, she worked gently, using healing stones and her hands. It felt like she was pouring calming, balancing energy back into me. When the session ended, the change was remarkable. I felt lighter, calmer, and more at peace than I had in a very long time. The constant feeling of alarm had subsided. Now, I’m usually the type of person who needs to understand how things work. I look for explanations, scientific proof, logical reasons. But in this case, there was no clear "how" or "why." There was only the undeniable feeling that something had profoundly helped me, even though I couldn't explain it. The shaman mentioned she was starting a course the following week, based on the teachings of Alberto Villoldo's Four Winds Society, which explores shamanic traditions from the Andes and Amazon. Intrigued, and knowing that this was the only thing that had touched the depth of my distress, I decided to join. I was curious to learn more about this path that had offered me such unexpected comfort.

So, What Exactly Is Shamanism?

My personal experience made me want to understand more. Shamanism isn't a religion with strict rules, but rather an ancient spiritual practice found in many different cultures across the globe. Think of shamans as people who learn to connect with a deeper, often unseen, reality – sometimes called the spirit world. They can enter special states of awareness, often using tools like rhythmic drumming or chanting. In these states, they seek healing, wisdom, and guidance, both for themselves and for others. A core belief in shamanism is that everything in the universe – people, animals, plants, rocks, rivers – is alive, connected, and filled with energy. It’s like seeing the world as a vast web of life where everything influences everything else. Shamanic traditions have existed for thousands of years and can be found everywhere: across Africa, the Americas (North and South), Indonesia, Korea, Japan, and many other regions. Even European folklore and traditional healing practices often contain elements that echo shamanic principles, like a deep connection to nature and the use of rituals. The Saami people of Northern Scandinavia still have their own distinct and ancient shamanic traditions nowadays.

Today, many people in the West are rediscovering shamanism. This renewed interest is often part of a larger search for alternative spiritual paths, personal growth, and a stronger connection with the natural world. Modern practices often involve things like:

• Shamanic Journeying: Using drumming or rattling to enter an altered state to seek guidance.

• Soul Retrieval: A healing practice aimed at bringing back parts of one's energy or soul said to be lost through trauma.

• Power Animal Retrieval: Connecting with spirit guides in animal form.

• Energy Healing: Various techniques focused on balancing the body's energy. People like anthropologist Michael Harner, who developed "core shamanism" (focusing on the common elements of shamanism worldwide), and Alberto Villoldo, whose Four Winds Society made Andean and Amazonian wisdom accessible, have been key in bringing these practices to a modern audience.

Ancient Wisdom and Modern Science: An Unexpected Link?

What's fascinating is surprising parallels between the ancient worldview of shamanism and the cutting-edge discoveries of quantum physics. While one comes from spiritual experience and the other from science labs, they seem to touch on similar ideas about reality:

• Everything is Connected: Shamans talk about the "web of life." Quantum physics has discovered "entanglement," where tiny particles can be linked instantly, no matter how far apart they are. Both suggest a universe that is deeply interconnected.

• Observation Matters: Shamans believe that focused intention, especially in their altered states, can influence reality. Quantum physics found the "observer effect" – the very act of measuring or watching something changes the outcome at the quantum level. Both hint that our consciousness might play a role in shaping the world.

• Energy is Fundamental: Shamans work directly with life force energy for healing. Quantum physics tells us that energy is the basic building block of everything. Even solid matter is ultimately a form of condensed energy. Both see reality as fundamentally energetic.

• Beyond Simple Space and Time: Shamans often describe experiences of traveling outside of ordinary time and space during their journeys. Quantum physics shows connections (like entanglement) that seem to defy our usual understanding of distance and time. Both suggest reality might be much stranger and more complex than it appears.

My Journey Continues

My path into shamanism started unexpectedly, born from a place of deep pain and confusion. It offered me comfort and a sense of grounding when I felt utterly lost. While my analytical mind still loves to understand things, I've learned the immense value of direct experience and trusting the feeling of what truly helps. I don’t have all the answers, and perhaps I never will. But finding this path has brought me unexpected healing and enriched my understanding of myself and the universe. I've learned a lot and shared my learnings from the shamanic journey in the next article.

Disclaimer: A Personal Perspective

For me shamanism remains one of the possibilities to explore life and the universe. It's not an absolute truth, but more of an inspiration and a philosophy that has deeply resonated with me.

It's also incredibly important to pay close attention to which shamans you choose to guide you. Some can be very strict and opinionated, while others guide gently and leave you your own space for exploration. Having a good feeling about it is crucial, always double-checking with yourself: "Does this still resonate with me and feel good?" This is true for any teaching or philosophy one encounter.